song:
the first guitar makes a kind of squeaky sound when it plays a high note. the voice is way too autotuned. the chords are kind of all over the place. you have some chords with the guitar then the voice is in another key and it sounds wrong and messy. the guitar sounds could improve. the shakers sound out of time; a bit late. i also think the vocals are too loud. i cant hear the bassdrum or snare- too quiet. 1:05, the chords are all over the place. it sounds a bit messy this way. there are both random weird chords there, and there is this high pitched guitar trying to stick to a certain key. sticking with either weird chords or certain key is fine, but mixing them together makes it sound very messy. i suggest sticking to a certain key because doing weird chords, its hard to make it sound good. also, there are too many parts playing at that time, making it sound cluttered. 1:36, there should be a better transition over here. also, the guitar over here has no bass at all, so theres no bass in that area. the only bass i seem to be hearing from there is the vocals, which is not what you want. 1:57, why did it suddenly get loud? that is the most random thing ever and it doesnt sound good. 1:53, that bass does not have bass in it and it doesnt match up with the key/chords/whatever.
lyrics:
i think a song about a breakup... should be more emotional. too many "yeah"s. "oh girl that you never knew that i never knew that you were yes oh no" (0:49-0:56) that line doesnt make any sense at all. before writing lyrics, you should really think about what you are going to write about, what you are trying to say, and what kind of emotion you are trying to get the listener to feel in this. a breakup song should be sad, but this song seems to have the more confused side to it. so the lyrics should include that feeling also.
also, sorry about your breakup.
-moobella